A Day to Remember

Today I was finally baptized for the first time.  While I was very nervous to give my testimony, the Lord is good and helped me every step of the way, even if there were lots of tears.  I couldn't be any more thankful to have family, community, and close friends with me today, supporting me in a way that only followers of Christ can do.  I was able to see baptism in a way that I had never seen it before.  It was close and intimate and yet still with 200 people.  What I have realized more than anything is that I need to tell my story more.  Since I have not done that on this blog, it is about time.  I hope to get Brett on here soon and have him write his as well.
I grew up in a Christian home.  Both parents had accepted Christ at an earlier age and were pursuing Him whole heartedly when I came along.  They enrolled me in a private Christian school.  I knew the story of Jesus like it was a common bedtime story.  When I was eleven and at Pine Cove Christian Camp, I decided that I really understood what it meant to be a follower of Christ and put my trust in Him.  After many years of  "doing the right thing", I hit a point where I was tired of being a good person.  I thought that I didn't really understand what the Lord saved me from because I had always steered clear of the don'ts in the Bible.  At the beginning of high school, I decided that I wanted to live my own way, apart from what my family, close friends, and school was telling me how to live.  After involving myself in relationships with people that did not pursue a relationship with Christ and a boy that I thought would be my savior, I realized that I was empty and living a lie.  As I started to end some aspects of these relationships, the lies I had been telling people for a year caught up to me.  My parents ended any communication that I had with the people that were not pursuing Christ and at that time, I had pushed away all the friends that really meant something to me because their relationship with Christ made me feel guilty for not living the way that would reflect the Holy Spirit dwelling in me.  I felt alone and unworthy of anyone's love.  A new teacher at my high school asked me to stay after class one day and told me that she had been praying since the summer about taking three girls under her wing to mentor.  She explained that my name kept popping up more and more during her times with the Lord.  After a year of mentorship, I realized that I was broken, alone, and felt completely unworthy of love that would come from a perfect God.  It was then that I realized that I was not able to do this life on my own.  I accepted the Lord's forgiveness, while still struggling to forgive myself for the poor decisions I had made.  Certain verses kept creeping up in my mind that reassured Christ's love for me, that I was worthy to be loved by a perfect God.  Romans 5:8 says "But God demonstrates His love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  As I started to think about what true love looked like, the ideas of the world fell short.  I had partaken in the worlds view of "love" and it was anything but satisfying.  I found that the only true love is selfless and undeserving.  That was Christ's love.  There is nothing I can do to earn it and nothing I can do to lose it.
I will be the first one to tell you that I am a work in progress.  I am by no means perfect.  However, much has changed since then.  I was blessed to marry a man who loves the Lord as much as I do and pursues Him daily.  The Lord uses Brett to spur me on to grow in my faith with the Lord.  I look to the Lord in times of joy, offering thanksgiving, and times of sorrow, looking to Him for comfort and refuge.  The Lord is the only one that has brought us on the other side of not just 1 but 2 chronic illnesses in our family of 2 and a miscarriage.  We rejoice in who the Lord is because He is Good, Loving, Compassionate, Full of Grace and Mercy.  And the best part is, it is all free. 
I love telling my story of Grace.  It is one that usually I can't even get through without crying because I understand better now than ever how much His sovereignty and love affect me every day!
He is the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I can lay down at night.  I will praise His name forever!